Q u e r b e e t

Re-blogged from Jean Haines blog: 2012 What's the'real'truth?

Foreword of Jean:

Susan, a reader of my blog shares photos and thoughts about her trip into the Amazon to use Ayahuasca.

Posted on May 19, 2013 by Jean

Dear Friends, Family,
A reader of my blog, Susan, shares some images and thoughts about her journey into the Amazon to work with the Shipibo shamans, who use Ayahuasca for healing purposes. The use of this drug impresses me, because while the journey may be difficult, my impression is that it always leaves you with something positive to consider. In other words, the dark does not seem quite so dark. My thanks to Susan. It's an interesting read!
Hugs,
~Jean

Dear family,
This past couple of weeks, I found my way to the Amazon to work with the Shipibo Shamans at the Temple of the Way of Light, the same place Graham Hancock discussed on his TED talk, War on Consciousness. I felt a huge urge to do this work after seeing that talk. I was amazed, totally challenged and am in awe of the experiences I had there.
This was a life changing experience, however, it is clear to me that the real work begins now. I received so many insights, saw so many things, it's difficult to lump anything all together so thought I would bullet them for convenience.
* First night was spent in profound grief. I seemed to be clearing my family trauma history through to my grandparents. It was very painful but very needed. I saw how the generational trauma had been perpetuated down through the family line. I felt a tremendous amount of compassion for my parents and the trauma they endured, including my siblings. I also saw how I continue to attack myself around the trauma I perpetuated upon my children. I have been merciless on myself—no surprise I would wind up with an auto-immune disease—the epitome of self-attack. Somewhere in there I found compassion for that part of me that was so very angry, had suffered huge loss throughout my childhood and realized that, even though I need to be accountable for my wrongdoings (sometimes harsh, abusive parenting, substance issues), I needed to forgive and love that part of me anyway. This was huge. I purged out all that grief and trauma that was keeping me in a state of anxiety and depression. I purged out the long ago years of cocaine abuse. Gone. It became abundantly clear to me that I needed to really work on taking care of myself and not drive myself so hard out of guilt and shame. Work less, not try so hard particularly by rescuing others, especially my children out of shame and guilt. Huge lessons.
* I recognized immediately that when I had a negative thought, I would attract a negative entity. I saw how "they" insert negative thought forms into our minds to keep us in fear. I totally got how careful I need to be when perusing alternative news only because I tend to get into fear even when I think I don't. It became very clear to me that holding the Light is imperative though working on the shadow self is equally important. I spent a good portion of the ceremonies fluctuating between the Shadow Self (saw many things that I am not proud of in my history), the dark and the Light. I clearly saw the US as a very dark place right now. I saw Nazi troops marching and much evil. Duality was as clear as day to me. I could see it from a larger perspective in a way that I could not have before. We are literally in a battle between the dark and light forces. If I focused on the dark, I got more of it, same with the light. It is really that simple: what you focus on, you attract. I saw many negative ET's and evil beings. I was very clear about how to rid myself of them—they simply were not allowed in my space. I called on Archangel Michael for support. Initially, I would see something negative and call him to clear it, which was done immediately. As the ceremonies went on, I was able to see him clear them with his sword. He was above me and when I say he is a large being, I am not kidding. He would wield his sword and send those energies into space. I was fascinated and very grateful to him. He did not speak to me but supported me every night with his powerful presence.
* One night I found myself as a vibration. I was reminded that everything is energy, that God is a vibration. I was having some difficulty because physically, it was a challenge to experience that much energy. I was literally vibrating.
* I made contact with many ET's. I saw a fleet of ships above the ceremonial space, called a maloca. One night, I saw a ship that had a beam of light coming from the bottom of it. I moved up into the ship and was greeted by the feline beings and the Pleaidians. This occurred several times where I saw ships in my visions. I was not afraid of them but very thankful they were there.
* Several nights I had contact with a feline being named Taha. James Gilliland had introduced me to her during a session last summer at his ranch. I have to admit, I didn't feel much connection at the time of the session. However, I decided to call upon her. She immediately came. She is very large, approximately 7-9 feet tall, thin and strong. Cat ears, cat tail and very big eyes. I believe she is a 5^th dimensional being. She communicated with me telepathically, mostly about personal matters. She did say that we would have some challenges ahead but that we would make it in the end. She became a steady support and companion during the ceremonies and told me that the lines of communication were now fully open with her and all I had to do was call upon her. I asked how I would know it was her since my mind likes to make up stories and she said it would be the felt sense of the communication. In other words, the communication would flow right into my mind instead of my mind struggling to find words that fit. I now recognize that she was with me during my entire journey.
* We were given various plant spirit remedies by the Shamans during our stay there. One night I could see the plants. There were flowers in my visions that would then become other flowers.. They kept growing into more and more flowers.
* Be clear about this one folks. There is a stargate in your head. I was filled with Light. You are a God through and through. Claim it for yourselves!
I need to say that though I am making this sound fairly easy, the process for me was extremely difficult. This work is not for the faint of heart. It is quite clearly the fast track for clearing on all levels—physical, emotional and spiritual. Years of therapy could not have reached where I got to in those 7 ceremonies and I am a therapist who works with trauma! The purging that occurs is way beyond intense. It is not uncommon to vomit numerous times during a ceremony or to have diarrhea. Sweating out old toxins was a nightly occurrence. I was so weakened by detoxing that I felt like quitting. But, I had reassurance from the staff and did not want to give up on myself. I was very clear about that. Reaching into old traumas, experiencing our shadow isn't particularly fun but it's necessary and useful. It's not all about love and light, that is very clear. To claim ourselves, we need to own it all. The dark, the light and all that goes along with it. Many people don't finish out the ceremonies because of this. They have huge expectations. Mother Ayahuasca will take you where she thinks you need to go not where you do.
If I can give an suggestions around the messages I received that I do think apply to all they would be the following items. I do believe they will help support our ascension into the higher frequencies:

Take care of your physical health. Cleanse your body. Exercise. Eat low on the food chain, pure and organic. Sleep well. Exercise! Ground yourself and be in Nature as much as possible. Don't abuse your body with drugs or alcohol or "foods" that have harmful pesticides, chemicals and GMO's. Reishi mushroom, astragalus, cilantro are wonderful immune boosters and can help keep clear some of the pollutants that we are currently being bombarded with. Body work such as rolfing and craniosacral work can be very helpful. The only way UP is through. Bottom up. Physical health starts first. My deep detox in the jungle showed this to me.
Work on your emotions. What you don't like in another is often within yourself. Within is without. Work on your Shadow Self and clear out the dark aspects within. If someone tells you something you may not want to hear but has the ring of truth to it, listen. They are telling you something important especially if you have resistance to it. Work on those old traumas. Trauma is in the body, in the nervous system. The good news is that it can be healed. There are wonderful trauma resolution modalities out now such as brainspotting, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing work. When you don't heal your trauma, it just perpetuates itself over and over again. The use of flower essences and essential oils can be helpful gifts from the Plant Doctors for support around emotional and mental issues, too.
Watch your thoughts and beliefs. Believe me when I say they impact us greatly. In fact, do this exercise: tell yourself a negative belief that you have a habit of repeating to yourself. Notice how this impacts your physiology. Your body takes the hit every time you say something negative to yourself OR another. This creates blocks in your energetic system, which in turn creates physical blocks, eventually turning to dis-easements. Clear you mind. Turn off the TV, turn away from the news. You all know that only has the intention of creating fear. Fear attracts those negative entities and thought forms in an instance. I saw this over and over again during ceremony. Learn the practice of EFT to clear out negative thought patterns.
Continue with your spiritual practice through daily meditation and prayer. Quiet time, away from the insanity of our western cultures is imperative. Ask for guidance from your Higher Self or from those who are here to support us. They love us unconditionally and want to help us but can't unless we ask. Be in Nature as much as possible. Connect to our Great Mother. Clear out your pineal gland with the help of Skate Liver Oil. You can buy this through Green Pastures, recommended by David Wilcock.

Finally, a word about the healers at the retreat: the Shipibo Shamans are a beautiful, loving people. They held the container of nurturance and care like nothing I have ever experienced. I would often marvel and wonder what they thought of us. They are so connected to the world around them and their place in it, they don't see themselves as separate from each other or Nature. They know how to communicate with the various plant doctors that grow in the jungle to help support healing. If you are interested further, please find www.templeofthewayoflight.org for information.

The benches where we dried off after our floral baths

Getting ready for ceremony inside the maloca

Mother Ayahuasca, Vine of Souls

The Maestas and I

Leonilda, a maestra and I made great friends. I gave her the earrings she is wearing and she gave me a piece of anaconda bone

The entrance to the maloca

Our tambo. They only use lanterns and rain water for bathing. Toilets are compostable

The lagoon, lots of critters in there at night

On our way!

We walked this path every night back to our tambo

Some Shipibo artwork

: Some Shipibo artwork

Notice the snakes. Snake is the grandmother of Ayahuasca. I experienced many snake visions.

We were given ayahuasca bark upon our departure

Dear family,
This past couple of weeks, I found my way to the Amazon to work with the Shipibo Shamans at the Temple of the Way of Light, the same place Graham Hancock discussed on his TED talk, War on Consciousness. I felt a huge urge to do this work after seeing that talk. I was amazed, totally challenged and am in awe of the experiences I had there.
This was a life changing experience, however, it is clear to me that the real work begins now. I received so many insights, saw so many things, it's difficult to lump anything all together so thought I would bullet them for convenience.
* First night was spent in profound grief. I seemed to be clearing my family trauma history through to my grandparents. It was very painful but very needed. I saw how the generational trauma had been perpetuated down through the family line. I felt a tremendous amount of compassion for my parents and the trauma they endured, including my siblings. I also saw how I continue to attack myself around the trauma I perpetuated upon my children. I have been merciless on myself—no surprise I would wind up with an auto-immune disease—the epitome of self-attack. Somewhere in there I found compassion for that part of me that was so very angry, had suffered huge loss throughout my childhood and realized that, even though I need to be accountable for my wrongdoings (sometimes harsh, abusive parenting, substance issues), I needed to forgive and love that part of me anyway. This was huge. I purged out all that grief and trauma that was keeping me in a state of anxiety and depression. I purged out the long ago years of cocaine abuse. Gone. It became abundantly clear to me that I needed to really work on taking care of myself and not drive myself so hard out of guilt and shame. Work less, not try so hard particularly by rescuing others, especially my children out of shame and guilt. Huge lessons.
* I recognized immediately that when I had a negative thought, I would attract a negative entity. I saw how "they" insert negative thought forms into our minds to keep us in fear. I totally got how careful I need to be when perusing alternative news only because I tend to get into fear even when I think I don't. It became very clear to me that holding the Light is imperative though working on the shadow self is equally important. I spent a good portion of the ceremonies fluctuating between the Shadow Self (saw many things that I am not proud of in my history), the dark and the Light. I clearly saw the US as a very dark place right now. I saw Nazi troops marching and much evil. Duality was as clear as day to me. I could see it from a larger perspective in a way that I could not have before. We are literally in a battle between the dark and light forces. If I focused on the dark, I got more of it, same with the light. It is really that simple: what you focus on, you attract. I saw many negative ET's and evil beings. I was very clear about how to rid myself of them—they simply were not allowed in my space. I called on Archangel Michael for support. Initially, I would see something negative and call him to clear it, which was done immediately. As the ceremonies went on, I was able to see him clear them with his sword. He was above me and when I say he is a large being, I am not kidding. He would wield his sword and send those energies into space. I was fascinated and very grateful to him. He did not speak to me but supported me every night with his powerful presence.
* One night I found myself as a vibration. I was reminded that everything is energy, that God is a vibration. I was having some difficulty because physically, it was a challenge to experience that much energy. I was literally vibrating.
* I made contact with many ET's. I saw a fleet of ships above the ceremonial space, called a maloca. One night, I saw a ship that had a beam of light coming from the bottom of it. I moved up into the ship and was greeted by the feline beings and the Pleaidians. This occurred several times where I saw ships in my visions. I was not afraid of them but very thankful they were there.
* Several nights I had contact with a feline being named Taha. James Gilliland had introduced me to her during a session last summer at his ranch. I have to admit, I didn't feel much connection at the time of the session. However, I decided to call upon her. She immediately came. She is very large, approximately 7-9 feet tall, thin and strong. Cat ears, cat tail and very big eyes. I believe she is a 5^th dimensional being. She communicated with me telepathically, mostly about personal matters. She did say that we would have some challenges ahead but that we would make it in the end. She became a steady support and companion during the ceremonies and told me that the lines of communication were now fully open with her and all I had to do was call upon her. I asked how I would know it was her since my mind likes to make up stories and she said it would be the felt sense of the communication. In other words, the communication would flow right into my mind instead of my mind struggling to find words that fit. I now recognize that she was with me during my entire journey.
* We were given various plant spirit remedies by the Shamans during our stay there. One night I could see the plants. There were flowers in my visions that would then become other flowers.. They kept growing into more and more flowers.
* Be clear about this one folks. There is a stargate in your head. I was filled with Light. You are a God through and through. Claim it for yourselves!
I need to say that though I am making this sound fairly easy, the process for me was extremely difficult. This work is not for the faint of heart. It is quite clearly the fast track for clearing on all levels—physical, emotional and spiritual. Years of therapy could not have reached where I got to in those 7 ceremonies and I am a therapist who works with trauma! The purging that occurs is way beyond intense. It is not uncommon to vomit numerous times during a ceremony or to have diarrhea. Sweating out old toxins was a nightly occurrence. I was so weakened by detoxing that I felt like quitting. But, I had reassurance from the staff and did not want to give up on myself. I was very clear about that. Reaching into old traumas, experiencing our shadow isn't particularly fun but it's necessary and useful. It's not all about love and light, that is very clear. To claim ourselves, we need to own it all. The dark, the light and all that goes along with it. Many people don't finish out the ceremonies because of this. They have huge expectations. Mother Ayahuasca will take you where she thinks you need to go not where you do.
If I can give an suggestions around the messages I received that I do think apply to all they would be the following items. I do believe they will help support our ascension into the higher frequencies:

Take care of your physical health. Cleanse your body. Exercise. Eat low on the food chain, pure and organic. Sleep well. Exercise! Ground yourself and be in Nature as much as possible. Don't abuse your body with drugs or alcohol or "foods" that have harmful pesticides, chemicals and GMO's. Reishi mushroom, astragalus, cilantro are wonderful immune boosters and can help keep clear some of the pollutants that we are currently being bombarded with. Body work such as rolfing and craniosacral work can be very helpful. The only way UP is through. Bottom up. Physical health starts first. My deep detox in the jungle showed this to me.
Work on your emotions. What you don't like in another is often within yourself. Within is without. Work on your Shadow Self and clear out the dark aspects within. If someone tells you something you may not want to hear but has the ring of truth to it, listen. They are telling you something important especially if you have resistance to it. Work on those old traumas. Trauma is in the body, in the nervous system. The good news is that it can be healed. There are wonderful trauma resolution modalities out now such as brainspotting, EMDR, Somatic Experiencing work. When you don't heal your trauma, it just perpetuates itself over and over again. The use of flower essences and essential oils can be helpful gifts from the Plant Doctors for support around emotional and mental issues, too.
Watch your thoughts and beliefs. Believe me when I say they impact us greatly. In fact, do this exercise: tell yourself a negative belief that you have a habit of repeating to yourself. Notice how this impacts your physiology. Your body takes the hit every time you say something negative to yourself OR another. This creates blocks in your energetic system, which in turn creates physical blocks, eventually turning to dis-easements. Clear you mind. Turn off the TV, turn away from the news. You all know that only has the intention of creating fear. Fear attracts those negative entities and thought forms in an instance. I saw this over and over again during ceremony. Learn the practice of EFT to clear out negative thought patterns.
Continue with your spiritual practice through daily meditation and prayer. Quiet time, away from the insanity of our western cultures is imperative. Ask for guidance from your Higher Self or from those who are here to support us. They love us unconditionally and want to help us but can't unless we ask. Be in Nature as much as possible. Connect to our Great Mother. Clear out your pineal gland with the help of Skate Liver Oil. You can buy this through Green Pastures, recommended by David Wilcock.